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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24773935">GO生</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/2hyeon/pseuds/2hyeon'>2hyeon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, skz best boys</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:14:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,549</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24773935</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/2hyeon/pseuds/2hyeon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>fourteen short(ish) stories, based on each track on stray kids' newest album, "go live".</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>GO生</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>felix and chan had been best friends since before they knew what ‘friends’ even were. they knew each other like the back of their own hand – they knew every small detail about the person, and also random things that normal people didn’t know about their friends. most people that were close with the both of them even envied their friendship, considering they were always so, so close with no signs of anything changing that. they always had the utmost trust in each other, and no matter what life threw at them, they always patched things up and became just as close again afterwards like nothing ever happened.</p><p>it didn’t take felix to realise until he was around fifteen, to realise that the feelings for chan were something more than friendship – something more than idolising. felix wanted to know everything about chan – everything from his favourite food, to his beliefs in astrology. he wanted to really get to know chan, and what made chan so…chan. he just wanted to get to know chan’s soul, and not just what chan put on the surface. sure, felix knew a bunch of random facts about chan – like how he had two younger siblings, or which perfume he used daily – but he wanted to know the more personal things about chan, and his beliefs about things. </p><p>so, when chan told felix excitedly that he was going to start ‘streaming’, felix was over the moon – it meant that he could see chan’s face and hear his angelic voice, even when they were apart. sure, it might’ve sounded creepy, but it also meant that felix could silently support him anonymously. he could even be one of chan’s favourite ‘fans’, without the other boy knowing that it was actually his childhood best friend that had been there with him throughout everything in his life thus far. he could just support his best friend, without worrying about the other finding his behaviour creepy or obsessive. after all, he just wanted his best friend to achieve his dreams, and he wanted him to be successful and happy, and he had a chance of doing just that.<br/>-<br/>a few days later, felix was lying in bed listening to music when he got a new notification, stating that chan was now live. now was his chance to let chan know that he was incredible, and that he valued the older boy. he just wanted chan to know that he was loved. without anymore thought, felix logged onto his laptop and entered his username – one that he was sure chan wouldn’t link to the younger boy – and joined chan’s live. he was sat in his bedroom, sporting a grey-ish hoodie that seemed two sizes bigger than him, making the older boy appear much smaller than he was, and felix found it adorable. when felix and chan would hang out with one another, chan always dressed in black to make himself seem harsher or more intimidating than he actually was, so this chan was a change – however, not a change that felix would complain about, because it just made felix wonder how chan would look wearing one of felix’s oversized sweaters.</p><p>his eyes wandered to the other side of his bedroom where his drying was, and caught sight of a bright blue one that he bought impulsively a few months ago when he was with hyunjin and his boyfriend minho. it was incredibly big, mainly because felix had always preferred bigger clothing, as they were more comfortable. he was sure that if chan were to ever wear it, he’d basically drown in it and he’d look really cute and-</p><p>wait. </p><p>this was his best friend he was talking about – this is bang chan, the person that’s been friends with felix since they were two. was he allowed to feel this way? was he allowed to consider giving one of his hoodies to his best friend? was he allowed to consider dating one of his close friends? probably not, and yet here felix was – completely enthralled with chan’s beauty as he stared at his computer screen in awe.</p><p>“so, i’m not entirely sure of what i want to do yet,” chan giggled, and felix ignored the slight blush appearing on his face, “i just…i could do a q&amp;a or something whilst listening to music, maybe?” he laughed again, and felix swore he’d never looked prettier.</p><p>he stared at the keyboard, wondering what to say. this was his chance – sure, he could say things afterwards, but he wanted to say something intelligent, and something worth saying. he wanted to make chan happy with his words.</p><p>doubleknot09: hey! i’ve been watching you for a while now, just wanted to thank you for everything you do! +£5.00</p><p>felix was completely entranced with the way chan looked – his eyes were shining, his hoodie was way too big for him, and he looked so genuinely happy. it had been a while since he had seen chan in real life, but felix remembered that the last time they had spoken, chan had mentioned there being something constantly on his mind. he had told felix that no matter what, he couldn’t shake the constant sinking feeling off of him. to then see chan like this – so happy and confident in himself – it made felix genuinely happy. it sparked something in him – it made his heart flutter.</p><p>he wished he could make chan this happy all the time.</p><p>“woah, that’s so awesome!” chan’s velvet voice made felix come back to reality. he looked at his screen, where chan was sporting the largest smile he’d ever seen him with. “someone genuinely likes my content? that…that means lots to me. thank you so much. really.” chan waffled, genuinely surprised and shocked that someone went out of their way to send a message to him, let alone donate some of their own money towards him? even though he didn’t really much besides stream every week and let people ask him questions.</p><p>for the rest of the hour long stream, felix kept staring at chan’s face and memorising every little detail that he could – the amount of freckles chan had on his face, to the times his eyebrows would furrow whenever he read something confusing, to the times he would pause and think over his sentences. chan was perfect in every essence, and felix was falling in love.</p><p>oh, fuck.</p><p>felix was falling in love.</p><p>-</p><p>felix was falling in love, and it was happening faster than he had hoped when he first realised. at first, he was just noticing more things about the older boy, like the way he smiled at certain words, or how he closed his eyes when he truly smiled. the more he fell, he realised that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this boy. he wanted to spend his adult years by his side, he wanted to own things with him, he wanted to move in with him, he wanted to experience life with nobody else but bang chan. and the thought was terrifying, because felix was sure that chan was straight. sure, they had spoken about sexuality before, but whenever chan opened up about what his sexuality was, he’d always say he was open to whatever, and that it “was never a big deal” to him, whether he liked boys or not, so felix – for the time being – was too scared to mention anything. </p><p>besides, what if chan was creeped out by him? or, even if he wasn’t, what are the chances of chan actually liking him back, out of everyone he’s ever met – or will meet? why would chan choose lee felix, out of everyone? why would he want to commit to felix, when there could be so many better choices out there? felix wanted to be chan’s boyfriend, but more importantly, he just wanted chan in his life. he couldn’t risk their entire friendship on something that wasn’t even likely.<br/>he’d rather do anything than randomly tell chan “hey, i kinda fell in love with you. date me?” and risk their entire friendship coming apart because of his rash decisions. he’d rather lose the chance of being with chan romantically, than lose chan completely. chan was too precious to felix – he wanted to do whatever he could to keep him around, even if that meant keeping his feelings to himself for a few years.</p><p>-</p><p>so, felix slowly learnt that chan went live every sunday. he had created a reminder in his phone to remind him when chan was going live so that he’d never miss one – he wanted to take every chance he could get to hear chan’s voice, and he enjoyed chan’s presence anyway. even before felix realised that he was falling in love with him, he had always felt safe around chan no matter what, and whenever they were together felix always felt that it’ll all be okay in the end. chan wasa like that – he didn’t even need to say much, his presence was just like a warm hug and he was always welcoming and accepting of everyone, regardless of any external factors concerning them.</p><p>felix’s phone pinged, signalling that chan was starting another live.</p><p>the younger boy ran over to where his laptop was, and ended up being the first one to join – (he didn’t miss the way chan smiled after reading his username). <br/>as more people started flooding in, felix noticed that the boy looked off – almost stressed. chan was never normally stressed – and even if he was overloaded with things to do, he’d never showcase that on his face. he’d just take it on his back and never complain, because he never saw a reason to complain because he knew it was going to get done anyway, so he’d rather do it quicker so that he can just forget about it.</p><p>“so, i wanted to be honest with you guys.” chan started off, and felix was brought back to reality once more. chan’s voice had never been this serious before - he was speaking very seriously, and his eyebrows were furrowed. a knot became apparent in felix’s stomach. he was scared. “i’ve been thinking about this one thing recently, and i don’t know what to do about it.”</p><p>felix’s eyes flickered to the live chat, where everybody was telling him to tell them what was going on, and what he was talking about.</p><p>“the thing is… i think i have a crush on someone, but i doubt they’d ever like me back. we’ve been close for some time, and i really like their presence. i…truthfully, i want to be closer than friends with them, but i really don’t think it’s possible. i’ve been thinking about this person a lot recently, and i really like them lots. i just don’t know what to do about them,” chan told them, sighing at the floor. felix looked towards the comments, feeling his heart sink. his chance with chan was gone – he liked someone else. he was falling in love with someone else. he was going to belong to someone else. he was going to marry someone else. he was going to be committed to someone completely new. he was going to tell someone new all of his secrets.</p><p>“i should call them?” chan read one of his comments, laughing quietly. “i suppose i could, but it might go wrong. eh, whatever. if this goes wrong, it’s your fault,” chan told the audience with a slight laugh, though felix could tell how nervous he was.</p><p>and, truthfully, he felt the same. he knew the person he was calling wouldn’t be him, and he’d be forced to listen to chan tell someone else he loved them, and-<br/>felix left the stream.  he couldn’t bear the pain of hearing chan tell someone else the three words he yearned to hear from his favourite person. he couldn’t bear the thought of chan being in love and affectionate with someone new. felix knew deep down that he should be happy with chan that he found someone that he loved, but he couldn’t be. not right now, anyway – he’d need time to get over things. he’d need to realise-</p><p>he felt his phone ring in his hand. </p><p>no fucking way.</p><p>felix looked at the caller ID and it was none other than bang chan. </p><p>his hand began shaking – what the fuck was happening? a minute ago, he was accepting his defeat, and yet here he was – possibly being the love interest of chan?<br/>without another thought, felix picked up, still not believing what was happening.</p><p>“hello? channie, you okay?”</p><p>a pause.</p><p>“y-yeah, i’m fine! can i ask you something? it’s okay if you’re busy or anything, i’ve just been thinking about something recently, and i need to get it off my chest.”</p><p>“sure.” felix answered calmly, still not believing that chan had a crush on him. him. </p><p>“so, i’m gonna be honest,” another silence. felix heard chan sigh loudly before he finished, “so, i like you. as in, i wanna move in with you and experience lots of things with you, and-“</p><p>“yes.”</p><p>“huh?”</p><p>there was silence between them both. chan was shitting himself, and felix was beating himself up mentally. why on earth did he say that? why didn’t he just wait until he heard what chan had to say?</p><p>“i-i’m sorry. i like you too, chan, is what i wanted to say.”</p><p>chan exhaled loudly – a sign that was relaxing himself. “really? you’re serious?” felix hummed. “wow.” </p><p>-</p><p>it had been a month since chan and felix had titled themselves as each other’s boyfriends, and they couldn’t be any happier. they were both lay in felix’s bed, covered in a blanket. chan reached forward and grabbed felix’s hand tighter, letting him know that he loved him, and that he was safe and content.</p><p>“i love you.” chan whispered, looking up at his boyfriend’s face. felix looked shocked, but happy nonetheless. he made eye contact with chan, and smiled.</p><p>“i love you too. i always have, and i always will,” felix answered truthfully, squeezing chan’s hand tighter, letting him know that he was grateful for him, and that he wanted to be with him forever, no matter what it took and no matter how hard they’d have to fight in the future.</p><p>they both knew that not everyone was going to be comfortable with them, and they would meet homophobic people in the future, but they didn’t care. felix knew that as long as he had chan by his side, he’d be okay. he knew he’d always be okay, no matter what, because he had chan in his life.</p><p>and chan felt the same.</p><p>no matter what happened to them, they’d always have each other. and they’d always be okay.</p><p>“i love you so much,” felix whispered when they had been silent for a while. “always. no matter what. i lnow we’ve only been dating for a month, but i wanna spend my life with you. i want to love you. forever and always.”</p><p>“forever and always?” chan asked with a smile, “you want to be committed to me forever?” felix nodded, and chan just gave him a genuine smile in return. “forever and always it is.”</p><p>and forever and always it was.</p>
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